Yahhhhh, we know. It’s a money making scheme, Boo-hoo!
Do you know what will really make you cry though? Ha, ready? Bruised marbles. TWO marbles to be precise.
BOYS, this ones for you, read on if you dare…
We know you just ADORE us 24-7, 3-6-5 (yadda, yadda) AND true, you show us
rarely daily! But if you want a girls advise, no matter what day of the year, if you’ve gone out of your way to show your hot piece of *** angel just a lickle bit of un-begged-for love and attention, you will get tons of brownies and a peaceful life.
Poor or poorer, it’s the little things.
Bubble bath, candles on, dinner in the oven, what a man you’ve become!
Pipe down, M&S dine in for 2 is £10 and a pack of 100 tea lights are a couple of quid. We know you spend at least a fiver a day on sugary treats, iTunes or bets at work (which you always lose, idiot) , so go with it!
Just remember that easy life I promised you…
Take her to the place you had your first date or somewhere with meaning.
OMFGAHD what about building a den and stringing the place with fairy lights, play her favourite film and order a surprise take-away (her usual, from her favourite.)
Oh look at me I’m going all warm and fuzzy.
Maybe I’m dehydrated.
Do you hear yourself right now? Pathetic. ‘What about me?’, you say. I’m sure you’ll get something if you do well at this. If not, I’m sure you’ve always got some footy game to look forward too…
Stick your money where your mouth is: Lingerie
(check her underwear drawer for sizes, do NOT get this drawer mixed up with her mums you giant perv. FYI, ASOS have plenty of affordable sets,click here
& holla at the Next Day Deliv!); Jewels (check if she’s a gold or silver gal first); Perfume (cough up boys, it’s Chanel
all the way); Pictures (of you two, anything else would be, awks…); Flowers (just because it’s V day, you do not have to buy roses, try and find out which ones are her favourite.)
CHOCOLATTTTTE (like, duhhhh
P.S. It’s cute that you
occasionally listen to us, but now is not the timer for necessities. She does not need that box of tampons she was harping on to herself about, nor does she need a new set of biros. Think pretty. Think precious.
P.S. If all else fails, just buy her a puppy.